Taking a Stand Against Mean Girls
Artwork by Samantha Durocher
Bullying happens when a person or group intentionally and repeatedly tries to hurt or control someone. It can take many forms: Physical bullying can include hitting, pushing, or kicking someone. It can also mean forcing another person to do something she doesn't want to do. Verbal bullying happens when someone uses hurtful words against another girl in order to hurt her feelings, threaten her, or damage her reputation. Social bullying is happens when groups of girls isolate or shun another girl in order to make her feel like an outsider. The bottom line? No matter what sort of bullying is occurring, or who is being bullied, the effects can be physically, emotionally, and mentally damaging.
Now that teens spend so much time online, bullying has made its way from the cafeteria to the computer screen. When the bullying occurs at school, teens endure it until the bell rings. With cyber-bullying, the emotional abuse can continue in your own bedroom "“ so it's very easy for cyber-bullying to go unnoticed.
According to Love our Children USA's campaign called Stomp Out Bullying, cyber-bullying is "one or a group of kids or teens using electronic means via computers and mobile phones (emails, websites, chat rooms, instant messaging and texting) to torment, threaten, harass, humiliate, embarrass, or target another kid or teen." The National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center notes that almost 30 percent of youth in the United States "are estimated to be involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both."
So why do it? Bullying is a learned behavior. Girls who bully have often been bullied themselves, and they continue the cycle for different reasons. One girl may bully because it makes her feel better about herself to put someone down. Another may see bullying as a way to maintain popularity within her group of friends. A girl may also bully another girl out of jealousy. She may be unhappy, so she takes out her frustrations on a girl she knows would not fight her back. Whatever reason a bully uses to justify her behavior, she should know that she is doing something wrong.
Are you being bullied in school or online? You should know that it is not your fault and that you're not alone. Reach out to a trusted adult (a parent, mentor, or teacher) for help. Don't stay silent. Feel like you don't have someone to talk to? Call the Covenant House Nineline at 1-800-999-9999 and talk to a professional. Talking about what's going on in your life will help "“ and it could prevent another girl from experiencing similar abuse. Don't repeat the cycle. Joining in with others and picking on another girl (or boy!) can hurt someone for years and years.
One of the most powerful things any girl can do to counteract bullying is to learn confidence. A bully can't belittle a person who loves herself -- and a girl who loves herself doesn't need to hurt others to feel better about her own life. Make bullying stop with you.
For more information:
Bullying.org http://www.bullying.org/
Stop Cyberbullying" http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html
Girlshealth.gov on Bullying http://www.girlshealth.gov/bullying/
National Crime Prevention Council http://www.ncpc.org/newsroom/current-campaigns/cyberbullying/
National Association of Social Workers' Tips for Teens on Handling Bullies http://www.socialworkers.org/practice/oneTeen/pdfFiles/teens/bullyingTips.pdf
Covenant House Nineline: 1-800-999-9999
Tell us what you think about bullying! Email us at teenvoices@teenvoices.com or send tweets to Twitter.com/teenvoices.
This article originally appeared in the April 2010 issue of Teen Voices. Sign up now to get your copy!
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I think that bullying, especially between girls, is a major problem in society today. It is sad to know that teens are lowering other innocent people's self- esteem. One way we could stop this is by having more teen- girl orientated programs so that they could bond with each other and realize that what they are doing is wrong. Hopefully more people will spread the word and get the positiver message out there.
Wow. Bullying seriously needs to stop. There is a lot of consequences for bullying happeninf, which I agree with, but I don't think it should have gotten this far, where teh cops have to be called in for soem cases.
I definitely have to agree with Bria: girl-on-girl bullying is something that many of us teen girls have experienced either by it happening to us, us doing it to someone else, or us seeing it being done to another girl. I also have to say that the media does not make the problem any better. For example, all these "of love" shows (Flavor of Love, For the Love of Ray-J, Real Chance of Love) and shows like BGC set a negative examples for teen girls growing up in today's society. They make it seem as though girls can't get along and that all we do is fight. It has become society's norm to think that it's ok for women and teenage girls to behave themselves that way, when in fact it's not ok at all. The media has made a mockery of women and created a spectacle of us. Millions of people tune in each day to watch shows like this, and I have to admit that I am guilty of this too. We get so caught up with the drama and excitement that we don't even realize that all of this stuff is only further enhancing the idea that this sort of behavior is ok.
I just had a situation with someone who I consider a mean girl. I really hope this article gets out, and I really hope she reads this and realize being a mean girl is really hurtful to people.
For as long as I can remember girls have been hostile towards each other and behaved as if this is a dog eat dog world. This does not have to be the case. There are some valid points in this article that I think every girl should know in order to better themselves as individuals and also as a whole. Life would be so much eisier if we weren't consistently judging each other.
Ive been bullied before both cyber bullied and bullied face to face. It hurts and its also sticks in my mind for a long time. So when i see others bullied i always try to stick up for them because this is a serious issue.
Online bullying can be so much worse than bullying in person, because like the article said it doesn't just stop at school. So not even leaving school and going to your safe house is a relief. Bullying has gotten especially bad these days, and I think it's important that girls read articles like this and realize that bullying other girls does not solve any problems.
I really like that there's a special organization that deals specially with the group of people that are being bullied. Honestly i have to say that this article or things that make the subject of being against bullying should be more popular.