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Guidance for Grown-Ups
February 2007
Staying True Blue to YOU

Be Proud, Not Just Part of the Crowd
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This Discussion Guide contains the following Activity Sections:

  1. The Answers to Your Questions


  2. Problem Solving: Exploring Options, Giving Advice


  3. Make a Historical and Global Connection: Changing Options



I. The Answers to Your Questions

The purpose of this activity is to think about what types of behavior lead to the feeling of self-betrayal.
  1. Victoria Baldwin's "My Story of Self-betrayal" tells the story of a girl who changes her behavior to fit in and make friends. Her essay suggests that she takes drugs, but her experience could reflect any number of risky choices teens make, and later reconsider. Ask the teens to read her essay and respond in writing about one or more behaviors that could lead to the feeling of self-betrayal.


  2. Not every moment of self-betrayal involves something life-threatening. Incidents that may at first seem like no big deal can make a teen feel like she betrayed herself — telling a lie, not speaking one's mind, or going along with the crowd, for example. Ask the teens to write themselves a letter that forgives an incident of self-betrayal.

II. Problem Solving: Exploring Options, Giving Advice

The purpose of this activity is to understand how self-betrayal impacts relationships with friends and family.
  1. Read the poem, "Masks." In it, the poet says she is covering the scars of who she really is. In a group setting, ask the teens to imagine out loud what her scars could be. If she was the teens' best friend, would they want to know the real her? Why or why not?


  2. Ask the teens to take the quiz, "Do You Give in to Fit in?" Have them read all three results. Ask two teens to role-play: one plays the character of an expert on staying true to herself (mostly A's) and one plays the character of someone overly focused on others' opinions (mostly C's). Using one quiz question as a scenario, have the "expert" offer advice on how to stick to your values.


  3. One of the best ways to learn the importance of staying true to yourself is when you see someone you care about make self-destructive choices. It is hard to know how to stand by someone through those times, and even harder when it's someone you look up to like an older sibling, or parent. Read "The Crowd, Which is Ruining You," by Rachel Hubbard. Is there someone in the teens' lives who they wish stayed more true to her or himself? Ask the teens to write down three things they would like to tell that person.

III. Make a Historical and Global Connection: Changing Options

The purpose of this activity is to consider the external factors that contribute to girls' self-betrayal.
  1. According to a report by the Office of National Drug Control Policy, girls have caught up with boys in illicit drug and alcohol use and have actually surpassed boys in cigarette and prescription drug use. Ask the teens to speculate on the differences in drug use by gender. Do girls and boys use drugs for different reasons? Similar reasons? Some of both?


  2. Related to the findings in the report mentioned above, the authors created tips for parents on how to raise healthy, drug-free girls. Ask the girls to read the tips and rate them on a scale of 1-10 (10 is highest) for effectiveness. Are these tips something the teens would want their parents or guardians to read?


  3. A report by the American Psychological Association (APA) found evidence that the proliferation of sexualized images of girls and young women in advertising, merchandising, and media is harmful to girls' self-image and healthy development. Page 7 of the report discusses how music lyrics impact girls. Ask the teens to read this section. Can they come up with additional examples of lyrics that over sexualize girls or women? Can they come up with lyrics from songs that counter these stereotypes and empower girls and women?
    Resources
  • Report by the Office of National Drug Control Policy on Girls and Drugs: www.mediacampaign.org
  • Tips for Parents: How to Raise Healthy, Drug-Free Girls: www.mediacampaign.org
  • Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls, published February 19, 2007. Website includes executive summary, the complete report, tips for parents, and media literacy resources: www.apa.org
Have you used Guidance for Grown-ups with your class or teen group? Tell us which ones you used and what kind of success you had with it. Did you put your own spin on it? Let us know.

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