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SPECIAL FEATURE Main Page  
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How Much Should Girls Depend on Guys?

Veronica N.
Florida


Do some of us girls depend too much on guys? I mean, it's the 21st century. Well, it's OK to get something out of your relationship as well as to give a little something. Yet, some girls like guys to take care of them and when their relationship ends they feel helpless. Here's the thing, if you allow yourself to become dependent on other people, what happens when there is no one around to depend on?

Teen girls need to know that if we can't take care of ourselves these days then the rest of our lives will be affected by it. I'm serious! There will be times when there will be no one there and we need to know what to do with ourselves. We girls are strong, and, yes, we can do it! We can live for ourselves and we don't need to live off guys. We don't need to have a boyfriend all the time. We can enjoy being single; it's great to be on your own.

So, how do you know if you are dependent or independent? If you are dependent on people you feel the need to be with someone all the time. You ask people to do you a lot of favors and seem helpless when you need to do something on your own. I've seen many girls get taken advantage of because they don't know what to do and think that if they are with someone that person should make decisions for them. (This can happen with girls dating girls or girls dating boys.) It makes me unhappy to see people in these situations.

But, how much is too much independence? Okay, I talked a lot about how to live a life without guys, but that's not what I'm trying to say. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to make it seem that guys are worthless. It's OK to let your boyfriend buy you a little gift or take you out. It's wonderful to have a boyfriend and ask him for some favors. Just know when it's time to stand on your own two feet and be an equal partner in a relationship rather than the helpless one. Don't let a guy use anything against you or take advantage of you. These days girls need to fend for themselves. Be in a relationship because you want to be not because you need to be. It's all for the better!!


Can you relate to what these writers say about dependency? Have you ever had to struggle with maintaining your independence in a relationship?




For More Information

Ditch That Jerk: Dealing With Men Who Hurt And Control Women, by Pamela Jayne

GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control, by Julia Devillers

•National Domestic Violence Hotline,
1-800-799-SAFE


















 
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