Am I Really Ready for Sex?
It's a hard question to answer, but one you need to decide for yourself in your own good time. Here is a quiz that may help you figure out whether or not you are ready yet.
1. The level of trust in our relationship is ...
A) just beginning, I'm still unsure.
B) pretty good, but I still have some concerns.
C) great! I feel safe sharing my feelings. We are always honest with each other.
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2. We talk about how our relationship will change if we have sex.
A) Never, I am afraid and I don't know what to say.
B) Sometimes, but I am still confused.
C) We talk openly and honestly. We are both clear on what each other wants and needs.
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3. Have I considered talking to my parent or guardian?
A) No way! They wouldn't understand or that's too embarrassing.
B) They gave me the "birds n' the bees speech " but we don't really talk about it much.
C) I've had an open discussion with my parent/guardian who answered my questions.
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4. Do I know about all the physical and emotional consequences of sex?
A) I'm not too educated about it or I don't care.
B) I am aware but I still have some questions.
C) I have honestly spent time and effort learning about the consequences of sex, like STI's or unplanned pregnancy, and I feel like I'm responsible enough to deal with them.
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5. Do I find myself feeling pressured into having sex?
A) Yes, this happens a lot. I feel like he/she might try to force me.
B) Sometimes; he/she tries to persuade me.
C) No. I set my boundaries and they are respected.
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Answers:
If you chose mostly A's: You have to really keep in mind that the problems you're having now will still persist if you don't open your mind up to the responsibilities of having sex. Communication between you and your partner could have a very big affect on how things go. Try looking up sex terms and the possible outcomes (consequences) of having sex at sexetc.org or teenwire.com. Also try learning about parts of your own body; you should know about your own body before you share it with someone else.
If you chose mostly B's: You seem to be on the right track, but you may not be quite ready yet. Before you have sex don't you think it would be better to know exactly what's going on, as opposed to just having an idea? Don't be afraid to speak up if something is happening in your relationship that you don't want. You've made your first steps so motivate yourself to go to the next one. Learn more, and most importantly, talk about it more.
If you chose mostly C's: You have this down, girl! (Well, almost.) You've researched the issue and you know the ups and downs of it. There's no shame in your game!! You understand the benefits of talking to an adult and you have a healthy relationship with your partner. Keep it this way!! You know what you need to know and now the decision making process should be less complicated for you.
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What do you think you need to know before you are ready to have sex?
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For More Information
The Inside Story On Teen Girls, by Karen Zager, Ph.D. and Alice Rubenstein, Ed.D.
Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: Expanded Third Edition: A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships, by Ruth Bell
Sex, Etc.
sexetc.org
Planned Parenthood
www.teenwire.com
Sources:
The Inside Story on Teen Girls, sexetc.org.
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